Oblivious Brian

New Gallery Show: Mercy Wine Bar

2012-01-02T20:39:00.000-08:00

Four years ago, I shot the artwork that now hangs in the restrooms at Mercy Wine Bar. Angela Ryan, Courtney Crave, Flip Ashley, and Autumn Greene were gracious enough to be the subjects. Since then, a lot has happened between my camera and I. This is a collection of my favorite images from that journey.

Mercy Wine Bar is easily one of my favorite venues in Dallas. They recently won an award for being the best wine bar in America. That award is well deserved. The staff is amazing, the food is incredible, and the wine list has no peer. I'm proud to be part of that family. Come celebrate the four year anniversary of that meeting with wine, music, and a warm handshake.

Prints will be available for sale, including some of my favorites that many of you know from the restaurant. All profits from the sales will be split with the wonderful models that helped make it happen.

This will be a great night to meet some new people, share some great stories, and check out some new art. I look forward to meeting all of you.

Camera Classes in Dallas

2011-05-21T10:18:00.000-07:00

Cameras are becoming drastically cheaper these days. So when people are out shopping for one, they tend to pick up the most expensive one they can find for the budget they have. Cool. It happens to the best of us. And why not? We get so many more toys to play with when we do this.

But here is the problem. With all these extra features comes a LOT more reading to do with that manual. And really, who wants to sit down for their first few nights after buying a new camera reading? Not me, I would much rather be out there using it and seeing how great those photos look.

I've been shooting for around 15 years. I've worked with a lot of cameras throughout that time. And now I'm offering one-on-one classes to show you how to use that camera to it's full potential.

We will cover everything from simple mechanical functions, definitions and terminologies, to advanced shooting tricks.

Classes are $50 and will run for approximately two hours. And, of course, you are welcome to ask as many questions as you would like. We don't leave until you are thrilled with what you have learned.

Help Japan, through art

2011-04-08T19:03:00.001-07:00

I recently read an article comparing the recent destruction in Japan to that of Hiroshima. I knew it was bad over there, but this article led to others written in the same vein. Needless to say, it was an eye opener.

So here is the plan. 50% of my profits from all shoots booked by the end of the summer go to helping Japan through various charities. 100% of my profits from print sales go to the same charities.

I don't mind tightening my belt while I have a roof over my head. There are entirely too many people that don't even have that much.

2011-04-04T17:26:00.000-07:00

I recently posted a status update on Facebook asking how many people would be interested in a tutorial/class with me. I was pleasantly surprised at how many people are interested, so here are the details. It's pretty simple actually.

Email, call, or text me and let me know you are interested. We pick a date. I come to your place or you come to mine. And we go over everything. Yes, it really is that easy.

When messaging me, be prepared to let me know what you want me to focus on. A few topics I've done in the past are...

*Photoshop in general, and just do a tool-explanation lesson (it's a big program, trust me you will get your money's worth)

*Beauty retouching (this would also cover some shooting techniques to help get the final image)

*Color toning in post, color theory, ways to use color to make your flat image really stand out (this can easily last an evening, there are so many ways to go about this)

*Extracting subjects, new backgrounds, fake wallpapers, adding believable backgrounds and textures (there is a lot to cover here as well, better bring a notebook)

*Lightroom (I use it too, and an entire evening could be spent on the basics of this program, perfect for those interested in batch processing large groups of files)

*Digital bodypaint, fake makeup, etc

*shooting techniques to achieve specific looks (of course we can do camera lessons as well, not everything is about Photoshop)

And that's just off the top of my head from recent emails. We could hit it all if you are experienced in the program, or we could focus on one or two of these topics. It's up to you. But suffice to say, you will leave armed with knowledge that will take your photography to a new level.

We work a raw file from my camera and you see it all happen. Ask as many questions as you want, I have very few secrets. You will leave with a finished PSD and RAW file to use as reference as well.

Classes are $100 each. Expect them to run between 2 and 3 hours. But anyone that knows me knows how I tend to ramble, so it's entirely possible we could end up on a tangent and we take as long as 4 hours. But even then, that just means more tricks to try out at home on your own work. Either way, we don't stop until you are happy with what you paid for.

"But I'm not photgenic"

2011-03-30T19:19:00.001-07:00

I love hearing this phrase. Stan and I used to joke around and keep track of how often we would hear that phrase when working for Estee Lauder on their "Facebook" events. And every single time, they would look at their headshot, smile, and tell us "looks like I was wrong." We got hugs from these people more often than not.

Being photogenic is a lot like wearing a hat. It's not about the hat and how it sits on your head, but the attitude behind the person wearing it. Here is a secret. No one looks good in a baseball cap. But everyone can pull off the look because they think it makes them look good. It's the attitude, never the hat.

The same people that claim to not be photogenic are often the first to lunge out, smile, and make some goofy pose when the camera phones come out during happy hour. And those are cute pics. So why the difference? During happy hour, they aren't feeling self conscious, they are just having fun. A photoshoot can be the exact same thing. But photos by someone that knows what they are doing reach a whole new level. Photos stop being cute. They become "beautiful," "jaw dropping," "gorgeous," etc.

So instead of just clicking "like" on the photos posted by your favorite photographers on Facebook, try hitting them up for a shoot. And even though we charge more than Wal-Mart or Sears, the work we produce is infinitely better than a basic portrait studio is capable of. We put our hearts into the images you print and hang on the wall. You will never get that from someone that clocks in for a living.

Gallery Show Coming up FAST

2010-11-30T08:16:00.001-08:00

Interested in buying some of my prints? This is a great time to do so. I'm having a gallery show in The Colony (just north of Dallas) with local artist Chelzee Lentz. There will be wine, live violin, and much mirth and merriment.

Also, keep in mind, 50% of my profits are going back to the models that helped create these images. So you would be helping them out as well, just in time for the holidays.

December 18, from 7pm until 9 pm. I'll see you there.

Variety

2010-07-21T13:49:00.000-07:00

Many of the photographers I know love to specialize. In theory, specialization leads to mastery. And for those that can make a living this way, I truly respect them for it.

But for me, I get bored fairly easily and love to try new things.

I'm based in Dallas, TX. My name is Brian Hilson,
I am a:
fashion photographer
food photographer
product photographer
headshot photographer
portrait photographer
pet photographer
fine art photographer
conceptual photographer
...The list goes on. I shoot it all and I absolutely love shooting it all.

A few of us were talking over sushi the other night about variety of images. A good friend of mine is an amazing food photographer, another friend is an incredible concert photographer. Over dinner we were talking about the different vibes we enjoy creating in Photoshop and I brought out my iPhone. Coincidentally enough, the night before, I decided to see how many different looks I could come up with from a single headshot. And I showed them this folder of images loaded up the previous night.

The original

Basic black and white

Black and white with heavy gold toning

Original with some minor color tweaks

Black and white with selective focus and bronze toning

All in all, I really prefer to not specialize. I have entirely too much fun playing with images like this.

An open letter to a muse

2010-07-20T09:43:00.001-07:00

We haven't worked together, not really. But I see your photos, your smile, the way you carry yourself... and it makes me daydream of the day I get you in front of my camera. Not the one I shot that time, but the one you really are, the one that comes out behind closed doors when you allow you to be you. I've met that "you" and I truly respect that "you" I met.

I remember meeting you and feeling so small. Your work made me tremble, just a little, but it was enough. My work wasn't worthy of you yet. It's been three years now and I'm still not worthy. Truth be told, I'm not sure I will ever be, I'm not sure I want to be.

When I shoot, I think of you often, wondering if you will like what I create, wondering how you would feel if you were gracing my camera instead of the person actually there. And it makes me try harder.

One day it will happen, possibly. Then again it might not. The more I think about it maybe I prefer that I never become worthy. Because this way, I never will. But I will keep trying. And I will continue to improve. And even if we never create anything magical, I'll never have you far from my thoughts. Then again, even if we do create something amazing, you will still be there. Because of... in spite of... you. And I thank you for it, at least here.

Thanks for being you and everything you inspire me to become.

Boudoir Photography

2010-06-20T13:26:00.001-07:00

I've been debating for some time now about posting a few more galleries on my site. The problem is: I don't want that top frame to become too cluttered. There is also a good possibility that this gallery might be too much for some of the more conservative people and businesses. I don't post any nudity on here, but I don't mind nudging that boundary a bit when I truly love an image. So instead, I'll just create a few extra galleries and link to them in this blog. The most recent public/hidden gallery is for my boudoir work.

brianhilson.com/portfolio.cfm/Boudoir

Previously, I've been creating a temporary gallery when asked for samples of my boudoir work. Once the client has a change to view them, I would just delete the gallery. But as people continue to contact me for more and more of this, creating and removing that gallery isn't something I have time for. So enjoy this new link showing another facet to my website.

Taco Mexico, authentic Mexican food

2010-03-18T09:34:00.001-07:00

The only thing better than Mexican food is amazing Mexican food. I'm going to introduce you to a restaurant you might not know about, but definitely should.

I received a phone call early last week from a restaurant owner in Balch Springs that needed a photographer for a last-minute gig. They were getting a new menu printed and had very little time to do it in. I was free and took the job.

I met the owner the morning of the shoot as he took me on a brief tour of the restaurant. We went over the shoot list and I set up my lights. A few minutes later the first plate rolled out and I discovered something. The first item was shot and he asked me to taste the food. It was good. I mean, really good. At that moment the owner smiled, and started to tell me what his secret is: everything is hand made. And by everything, he meant everything.

Order tortillas, they mix up the flour and water, press them, then cook them up on a pan right before being brought out to you. Those same fresh tortillas are used on their burritos and tacos. The cup of salsa sitting on the table with your corn chips is hand made, and so are the chips. For those of you that have never tasted fresh, hand made Mexican food, this is not something to be missed.

As we talked about everything on the menu throughout the day, I saw the passion and pride in his eyes as he told me where each menu item came from. This really is a Mexican restaurant, in every sense of the term. Each dish was carefully chosen from the various states of Mexico and they all contribute to a wonderful experience.

I started shooting food photography less than a year ago. It has been a fun ride so far and I am not even close to being done yet. Restaurants like Taco Mexico are the reason I love doing what I do. The food is amazing, but the people are what make it what it is. I live north of Addison. Taco Mexico is in Balch Springs, just south of Mesquite off Lake June Road. Without traffic it takes me about 45 minutes to make the drive. And it is absolutely worth it.

They don't have a website up yet, that part is in the works. Once it goes live you can expect to find it linked here. But for now, you can follow this link to get directions.

And after your meal, be sure to order the flan as well. I have always had a soft spot for flan, and this is absolutely the single best flan I have ever tasted.

Valentine's Day at Mercy Wine bar

2010-03-01T12:23:00.000-08:00

Thanks so much for everyone that came out to Mercy to celebrate with their friends and loved ones. And thanks so much to everyone that has emailed me about that weekend. I'm glad so many people like their photo(s).

Now that it is a new month, I am going to pull the gallery off my main site. I'll leave the content up for another month or so for those that are just now coming to find their photos. And for those that have expressed interest in buying prints, that deal still stands. 5x7's are $5 each, 8x10's are $10 each, and 11x14's are $15.

You can now find the gallery here: Vanentine's Day at Mercy Wine Bar.

Be sure to visit Mercy's website at www.MercyWineBar.com and sign up for their email notifications. They send out weekly email blasts to let everyone know about upcoming specials, bands, and tastings.

Thanks again for coming out.

Mercy Wine Bar

2010-02-09T15:16:00.000-08:00

It's good to know people.

A few years ago, a good friend of mine kept pestering me to go to this local wine bar. Apparently they have amazing food and it's full of people that I apparently needed to meet. I was hesitant. Honestly, up until then, I had never been in a wine bar before and I had heard from a few friends that they tend to be a little uppity. I couldn't have been more wrong.

The people were friendly, I was greeted by a series of warm handshakes, and ate the best chicken sandwich the world has ever known for dinner. I was hooked.

6 months later, I was talking to Glen Agritelley, the owner, about the artwork in the restrooms. We decided to shoot some new stuff for the men's room.

I placed a few casting calls and had a few amazing responses. One of them, Angela Ryan, is a pretty big deal. After working with her, I can completely understand why. The other model preferred to remain anonymous, so I will respect her wishes. But suffice to say, I couldn't have been happier with the images that came from these shoots.

A few months later we decided to update the photos in the ladies room as well. Courtney Crav e and Flip Ashley responded to those castings. Once again, I was blown away by the images we all created.

Mercy Wine Bar can be found in the Village on the Parkway in Addison. Stop by, grab a glass of wine, and be sure to try the chicken sandwich. And let me know what you think of the artwork in the restrooms.

Erika the Gamer Girl

2010-01-17T11:07:00.000-08:00

An opportunity presented itself a few weeks back to shoot an idea. "What if Sports Illustrated did a video game issue?" It was all her idea and I loved it.

We hashed out a few ideas through email, decided on a couple that sounded fun, then set the date for the shoot.

Erika was recently picked up by the Clutts Agency in Dallas. To be honest, I don't do a lot of agency work these days and had forgotten what it was like to work with someone that knew how to pose this well. I'll admit it, the shoot was spectacular. The first group of photos picked for retouching was around 60 images. Since I try to limit how many I retouch to around 4 or 5 per look, that was a bit of a problem. But it was a good problem to have.

We finally narrowed it down to around 10 shots. I'm still working on the last 4 since they require a bit more attention in Photoshop. These are closer to my conceptual work than the images posted here. So expect another update in a week or so with the rest of her shots.

All in all, this was a great shoot, Erika was charming and a complete blast to work with, and with any luck, she will be chosen as the next XFS girl. Life is good.

Food Photography and Dallas

2009-12-24T15:43:00.000-08:00

It's no secret to anyone that has spent any time in Dallas that we have a LOT of restaurants. Well, we have a lot of churches, strip clubs, malls, movie theaters, and grocery stores too. But for the sake of this entry, I'll focus on the restaurants.

I love food. And the more I shoot photos of food, the more I enjoy that aspect of photography as well.

There are some funny things about shooting people. They get sick, relatives pass away, their cars break down, they forget to set their alarms... The list goes on. Things come up. People need to reschedule or cancel. But I have never had a donut call in sick.

A few years back I was supposed to be married. The engagement was called off about two weeks before the wedding date. I had been taking a break from shooting at the time and decided that creative expression would be the perfect medium to help clear my mind after that ordeal. It opened my world in ways I could never have imagined.

A good friend of mine (and business partner in a number of ventures, most recently Atomic Hedgehog) caught the photography bug around that time. He says that it was from seeing the enjoyment I was experiencing while shooting. Apparently joy is contagious. Who knew?

I was shooting people, he started shooting food. But here is where it got a little frustrating. I had been shooting off and on (between dating insecure women for the most part) for around 10 years. 4 months behind the camera and my friend was shooting better than I ever did after 5 or 6 years. So in a lot of ways, I inspired him to pick up the camera, and he inspired me to start shooting food. Incidentally he has been shooting people lately. Life is funny sometimes.

I initially picked up the camera to create art. I might have used the camera as an excuse to talk to the occasional college girl at the time as well, but that's part of the fun. And here I am enjoying photographing food. Life is good.

Thanks Theresa and Dao

2009-12-03T14:45:00.000-08:00

Theresa has been on my wish list for longer than I care to remember. I think I first saw her photos around two years ago, and I was sold. I finally had the opportunity to work with her and the wait was well worth it. Here are a couple of shots from that day.

Dao is Theresa's cousin. She came along to the shoot and ended up volunteering for a few photos as well. And I am glad she did. This little pocket-sized ball of awesome is a natural. I love what we created and my door is always open to her as well as Theresa.

In part of the shoot, Dao's hand slipped off the fabric. I'm not a fan of posting out-takes, but this one was just too cute to pass up. I also included one of the finished shots from her shoot. I love my job.

Hoshi, some sake, and a sheet

2009-12-01T14:28:00.000-08:00

Saturday was my fourth drunk shoot. I drink, the model drinks. We aim to get drunk. This was no different.

Since I tend to overthink a lot of my shoots, every now and again shooting something with no planning can be a total blast. That's why I do these occasionally. It's just good to break out of your shell.

She showed up with a few bags, and a few outfits, and a bottle of sake. I cracked open some homebrew hard cider and we started. My favorite set from the night was this. One strobe, reflector only, pointed down at the blanket we were under. Roll around, go for the JBF hair, and just let the images flow.

Thanks Hoshi. This was our second shoot and I cannot wait to bring you back for our third.

Conceptual

2009-11-11T14:01:00.000-08:00

I first discovered Hiroshi Nonami about two years ago. His work blew me away. The fact that none of it involved Photoshop made it that much more powerful in my eyes. Of course, I don't shoot film these days. I don't have a garden to bury my negs in if I did shoot film. I use my trusty Nikon DSLR and Photoshop CS4. In other words, if I want to create work inspired by Nonami, I get to cheat.

Here are two of my more recent pieces inspired by Nonami. I don't pretend that these have the same visual punch as his work, but I'm not trying to rip off anyone else's style. And all things considered, I'm pretty damn happy with them.

Shot with a Nikon D300 in my apartment in Dallas, TX.

Carolyn, some water, and a bag

2009-10-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

I had an idea for a shoot. The idea was to create something that would make someone cringe a little. The problem was, in order to keep from hurting the model, I couldn't get the idea to pan out according to plan. So we changed gears a bit and just had some fun.

This was a quick shoot and I had some fun retouching the shots. I figured I would try to make each of them have a different feel. I'm pretty happy with the results.

Lana, a few more images

2009-10-18T18:10:00.000-07:00

Instead of prattling on this time around, I'll simply post a few more photos from our shoot.

Thanks for being part of this Lana. I really appreciate you and the opportunity you gave me.

Lana - the Dreamer

2009-10-03T10:05:00.000-07:00

A few weeks back I saw a casting call that caught my eye. Her name was Lana and she was was interested in shooting in a few traditional Indian outfits that she and her mother made. To be honest this woman had been on my wish list for months at this point, ever since I first saw images of her. There is an unmistakable energy to her that just draws a viewer to her face like the proverbial moth to a flame. I had to respond.

These two shots were finished ahead of schedule. I have other, older work that needs attention before I dive into Lana's images. But these two said something to me. And no matter how many times I try to put it to words, I keep failing.

The closest I have managed to come up with is this: I see them and feel a strange polarity. They bring me up and down at the same time. It's like flipping through an old yearbook and seeing smiling faces that you miss knowing. It's that sense of nostalgia that draws me to these photos. It's a feeling of sadness and freedom, at the same time, that I cannot seem to explain.

Here are a couple of shots from that day. Expect more as I have time to finish them.

Liz

2009-09-23T10:57:00.000-07:00

A couple of years ago I had the pleasure of being brought to Mercy Wine Bar in Addison. A good friend of mine redesigned their website and introduced me to the bartenders, managers, and eventually the owners. Soon after I was given the opportunity to shoot some artwork for the place and suddenly I was part of the family.

Liz Williams is one of the managers up there. She sings, plays guitar, and writes music. Come to find out, she's good too. Over drinks recently she told me that it's time for a new chapter in her life. So she's moving to Austin. She has a few friends down there, I don't know anyone in Texas that doesn't know at least one person in Austin. Things are funny that way. But the difference with Liz is this: she has no idea where she will live, where she will work, or what she will do. It is a complete restart for her, and I couldn't be happier for her.

As a going-away-but-not-for-good present, I offered a shoot. This is one of my favorites from that morning.

The Big Daddy Band

2009-09-17T16:49:00.000-07:00

www.thebigdaddyband.com Go there, check out their calendar, see them live, then thank me in the morning.

It is a rare cover band that can make me enjoy music that I really don't like. But these guys do it consistently. And they throw in some amazing songs that I do love in the mix to keep things fun. Picture a band starting with a ballad by Journey, moving on to a ballad by Bon Jovi, then flawlessly transitioning to Corey Hart's Sunglasses at Night. These guys are that good.

They play every Tuesday night at a local bar that I am slowly growing to love. I'm not one for the popped-collars, cutoff shorts, and flip-flops scene. But for the music and the people that are also there for the music, my week no longer feels the same without hearing them sing P* Control by Price or Jump by House of Pain.

Victoria

2009-09-13T13:21:00.000-07:00

I love images that make me feel something. Maybe that's why I tend to show the stuff that's a little less-than-mainstream.

Don't get me wrong. I love simplicity in a photo as well. But there is just something about an image that sucks you in and trips your emotional responses. For this reason I tend to shy away from your basic "art nudes." To be honest, they usually bore the hell out of me. They are about lighting, form, shape, and shadow. I have the utmost respect for those that excel at that type of work. But it's just not something that gets my heart pumping.

So instead, I focus on feelings. We aren't always pretty. We aren't always healthy. We don't have a perfect day every single day. So instead of pretending the world is full of puppies, fluffy clouds, and fragrant flowers, let's experience the spectrum. Yes, we have good days. We even have AMAZING days. But the average day is just that: average. But here is the greatest part about an average day. It takes very little to push it towards either misery or bliss.

We feel things for a reason. If we cut our finger and thump it on something, it hurts. We are reminded to not do that again until we finish healing. It's a sort of internal positive and negative reinforcement training.

So why all the rambling about emotion? Because it's part of me. It's part of being human. Without the bad, the good just seems normal. That makes it bland. Without the good, the bad becomes commonplace. It is that balance we need to allow us to fully enjoy the wonderful and joyous moments of our lives while granting us the knowledge that even the most traumatic event will one day fade away. There might be a scar. There might not. But once it has passed, it is gone. And then it only leaves a small reminder to not smack our finger when we have an open cut on it.

The photo is of Victoria D and was shot last Saturday.

His Violin

2009-09-04T18:32:00.000-07:00

This is my father's violin. He was a passionate violin player for most of his life.

Today we held his memorial. My mom will soon receive his ashes. In many ways, the missing string and the broken bridge represent his illness. The last time we remember him playing, it was unbroken. This leads us to think he tried at least one more time to play. We brought it to the funeral home and saw that it was broken. He either dropped it or damaged it when putting it away since no one else would have touched it. So the damage has now become part of the memory and I wouldn't have corrected it in Photoshop if my life depended on it.

This violin nearly gave him the chance to play with the Houston Symphony. Had he not injured his right arm earlier in life, I am convinced his name would now be part of their history.

Now he lays in storage, awaiting cremation. His urn has been delivered. Now we just wait for it to be ready to pick up, with his cremains locked inside.

This violin was a beautiful instrument when it was whole, just as my father was a wonderful man. I'm grateful that I knew him and I am grateful that I was given the opportunity to photograph his violin after he passed.

Rest in peace, Dad

2009-09-03T09:27:00.000-07:00

Bruce Edward Hilson, my dad, was born on November 10, 1938. Come to find out, his mom changed his birth certificate to read 1938 so that he could start school a year sooner. It wasn't until he was in his 50's when this was discovered. Someone had erased the pencil-mark '9 and drew in, with different handwriting, an '8. Hey happy Birthday dad. You are actually a year younger than you thought you were your entire life.

He met my mom in Houston through a mutual friend telling them both "Oh you have to meet this guy/girl, you will really hit things off." The rest was history. They married soon, my mom became pregnant with me, two years later I had a sister.

I first noticed his illness about 15 years ago. His hand had a steady, uncontrollable but rhythmic twitch that only stopped when he was asleep. That eventually began to affect both hands, his walking, his speech, and his balance.

My sister quit her job and moved back home to help care for him a few years ago. Like my mom, her knees and back would begin to suffer from having to pick him up off the floor regularly.

He was never formally diagnosed, as he was terrified of hospitals and doctors. But there are only so many diseases with these symptoms. Mostly likely, it was Parkinson's. The dementia that started showing up occasionally a few years ago confirmed this to me.

I was at home tonight, retouching photos, and the phone rang. My mom was in tears, and asked me to come to the Plano Hospital. My father had just been taken away and he was no longer breathing.

The last time I had been to that hospital had to be nearly 25 years ago. I remember riding my bike up there to visit a friends sick parent. AJ's mom was released that night after we visited her. Someone moved my bike while we were inside. As I circled the building, I couldn't stop thinking about AJ and his mom. God, the shit we think about to distract ourselves what what we already know...

I parked in visitor parking. It was probably as far away from the emergency room as possible. But I was just in a sort of haze. It's like I was watching a movie of my life, and the screen was my own eyes. I wasn't participating, but the me that was playing me was following the script that had been rehearsed so many times over the years.

I found the emergency room in time for my mom, sister, and brother-in-law to come out of the room. My mom sobbed as she held me saying "He's gone. He's gone. They couldn't wake him up." I held her as I struggled to find my voice, I failed. All I could say was a barely audible whisper, "I know."

We spent the next hour, two hours... actually I don't know how long were were there. Time seemed to pass differently in the waiting room as people rushed in, told us the of the next step, and prepared us for the next person that would speak to us.

My dad will be cremated tomorrow or Friday. We will invite a few people over for a brief memorial. And when she's ready, my mom will scatter his ashes where she promised him she would.

It's been a rough decade. I remember my father being so tall and strong. His big hands would come down and scoop me up, tickling me with his beard as I giggled. He would carry me from the car at night after I fell asleep on long road trips. He helped me work on my first car. He was always there, with a smile, and a gleam in his eye that told me he loved me. I remember seeing him drool for the first time. My mom casually grabbed a paper towel to wipe off his beard. I remember picking him up for the first time when he fell while I was over there. I remember being angry because he was sick and unwilling to do anything about it. I remember when my world changed.

It's been a few years since I got over the anger. Both of his parents went to the hospital shortly before dying. In his mind, you only go to a doctor to die. How do you argue with that logic? We tried repeatedly and never succeeded. So then all we could do was keep him company, keep him fed, and try to keep him happy. It worked most of the time.

And now, as I sit here with tears falling down my cheeks, I can't help but remind myself that he is no longer suffering. He is no longer a prisoner in a failing body. I'm not the person to say if he is in a better place, I'm not particularly religious. But I do know that he is no longer scared of being home alone. He will no longer fall and bruise his knuckles. He will no longer need to be picked up, in the same way he used to pick me up when I was a baby.

He entered this world on the day he was born with his first breath. Tonight, after stubbornly holding on for years, he finally let go of that breath.

Rest in peace dad. I miss you and I will always love you.
Brian Edward Hilson
September 2nd, 2009

This was the final photograph I took of my dad. It was on Father's Day, 2009.

Polaroids

2009-08-31T12:46:00.000-07:00

There is something magical about a Polaroid.

I remember being a kid and my parents would tell us to be careful with the Polaroid camera. It was expensive and so was the film. But, being a kid, I had no concept of money or value. We ended up with a lot of Polaroids of toes, cans in the fridge, and annoyed parental expressions. I will never forget learning that if you fanned a Polaroid it made the image appear faster. Come to find out, that wasn't true. Neither was this one: put a developing Polaroid in a fish tank. The fish-water will help it come out sharper and faster. I was so annoyed that we didn't have an aquarium after hearing this one. I wonder whatever happened to all those shots we took.

Fast forward 30 years and Polaroid has gone under. Film is all but gone and Digital is king. You still see Polaroid shooters around here and there, desperately clinging to their boxes of film, desperately hoping to read somewhere that Polaroid films are once again being produced.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed as well.

This is Morgan in a recently discovered field of flowers, walking distance from my apartment.

Good people, good hearts, GoodwillDallas.org

2009-08-28T18:02:00.000-07:00

I was recently contacted to shoot some updated photos. Katie was the voice on the phone and Goodwill's Dallas distribution center was the place. Come to find out, they have had photographers come out regularly and it was time for another update. There was no way that I could say no.

I'll be honest. I really wasn't sure what Goodwill was about. Friends recommend shopping at their stores for cheap tableware, wardrobe for shoots, and various other knick-knacks. It's a great place for inexpensive stuff. Yeah... speaking with Katie while walking the halls opened my eyes on that one. Initially I was happy to help them out. After finding out the complete story, I was truly honored to be included.

Here are a few of the photos from that day. Also, be sure to hit up their Facebook page and say hi. These are great people.

New Blog, New Work, New Directions

2009-08-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

I've had a few blogs throughout the years. They ranged from serving as a private emotional enema to very public how-to's on some of my work. Each of them had a specific purpose in mind when creating them. It's time to do something different.

I am a photographer located in Dallas, TX. My plan is to give a little insight into my shoots: the thoughts going into my various concepts; experiences while shooting; yadda yadda yadda... it's a blog. And with any luck, it will be at least moderately entertaining.

Thanks for reading, Brian